Pillow Talk

I think there is a clear difference between rest and sleep. Almost all military wives that I've talked with have difficulty sleeping when their husband is away. Peaceful sleep comes from God. Psalm 4:8 says, "I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." So when sleep does not come easy, can we rest?

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 “Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.” Lamentations 2:19 instructs us to cry out to Him. Have you heard the saying, "Can't sleep? Instead of counting sheep, try talking to the shepherd"?
 How about counting your blessings. Say the ABC's of praising God. A- God, You're Awesome and Abundant with Your love. B- Your Beautiful and Brilliant! And so on.
Can I step out on a limb and say, when you can't sleep, maybe there is a reason. Maybe God has you awake for a purpose. How about praying your way through the alphabet. Each letter representing the first letter of someone you know. A- Lord, I lift up Allison to you.....B- Becky.....C-Carrie....etc...  What a sweet way to fall asleep, praising Him and praying for others!
Psalm 62:5 says, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him."
And if fear is keeping you awake..Sisters...So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10) and “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7).

What helps you sleep when your husband is away?

Hurry Up and Wait!

Hurry Up and Wait!

by Rachel Baird

When my husband and I first got married, I heard that the motto of the Air Force is, “Hurry up and wait!”  They weren’t kidding!  If you have spent any time within any military organization, you will find this to be true.  We have been stationed at a Navy base, an Army post, and multiple Air Force bases.  None of them are respecters of persons.  They are mostly the same.  Most documentation needed for programs and promotions are needed yesterday, but you will wait months to find out the results.  It is frustrating to say the least!

As a spouse, it can be very easy to get into a groove of wanting to nag our husbands about; when they will know… how long they will be gone… when will they leave… when will we move… how much longer do we have to put up with the politics… why do all the other wives seem to know more I do?  The answer is simple.  He doesn’t know.  That was a tough pill for me to swallow once I was actually willing to listen to reason.  He really didn’t know.  And even worse, he had no control over it either!

I spent countless hours arguing and bickering with him.  I really believed that by me pitching a fit, I would convince him to clue me in on the answers.  All it did was drive a wedge between us.  It frustrated him and started to brew bitterness in our marriage. 

Reality.  Patience is a virtue.  Hurry up is not.  As military wives, our patience is tried in more ways weekly than many civilian spouses will experience in months.  I don’t have to explain our lifestyle to you, you live it.  However, I can challenge you!  I can challenge you to realize that God knows exactly where we are in our lives.  God placed us with a purpose with our spouses in our location.  He is stretching us through daily experiences to mold us to be exactly what He wants us to be.  We can either pass or fail.  We can look to Him for help, or we can continue to make everyone miserable around us.

What will you make of where you are in your life?  Will you continue to worry and nag or trust that God has already figured out all the details?  He will guide you through whatever you are going to face, if you will just ask.

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;   perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

Romans 5:3-5

You can read more from Rachel at www.something2say.com



God.....What do I do while I'm stuck here??

The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28) This is the verse I think about when I don't know what God wants me to do.....if I don't have clear direction.....I just look for opportunities to serve.
I hear some military wives complain about being where they don't like, or never wanted to be. But if you trust Jesus than you can be assured He has a purpose for you wherever you are. God can use you in powerful and extraordinary ways if you allow Him. It may be small or big but if you are not open to God working in and through you, than you may never know the impact you could have.
Be on the look-out.....God will provide an opportunity!
Here are a few ideas:

• Make a meal for another family
• Give flowers to a wife of a deployed member
• Send a card or e-mail
• Babysit for someone or offer a playdate
• Invite someone over for coffee
• Give another military wife a care package
• Make a commitment to pray for someone specific (and stay faithful)

Sometimes it seems easier to serve with a group. Are you in a small group yet? Here are a few ideas for small groups to serve together: (Local Offutt....but most cities will have something similar)

• Collect items to be donated or spend some time at the Open Door Mission, Lydia House, Empty Tomb...etc...
• Host a Baby Shower for the local Pregnancy Counseling Center
• Organize a thank you breakfast for teachers at a local school
• Serve a meal at the local Ronald McDonald House (or Fisher House if close to a military hospital)
• Serve another small group!

Somewhat Simple

There are endless opportunities to serve our community and one another but remember what 1 Corinthians 13:3 says, "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." The greatest thing you could ever do for someone is love them as Christ loves them. Be His hands, feet, and mouth when He calls!

Where does your fulfillment come from?

I swore I wouldn't be one of those women who "punished" my husband for a bad dream I had after all, my husband has no control over my imagination. But I found myself at his work for lunchtime shrugging at his questions and answering in yes' and no's with no elaborations. When he simply asks, "whats wrong today?" My response is long and drawn-out with excuse after excuse after excuse. Sometimes my dreams have deep meaning and sometimes they mean I ate too many cookies before bed. The latter was the case this time. 

But was there a deeper meaning behind this sudden "why can't you make me happy" attitude? You see, my excuses were, "when I get this, I'll be happy," and "when this happens, it'll be better." You may be able to read this and diagnose my problem right away, but in the thick of it, I couldn't see or understand what exactly my problem was.


After much contemplation I realized my husband couldn't fulfill me. Nor should he. I know how God feels about me: Ephesians 1:4-5 says,
"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-"

So, I should know and believe that my fulfillment comes not from my husband or the place I live or the phase my children are in, but in Christ alone!

John 1:12-13
"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."

With my tail between my legs, I asked for forgiveness and thankfully my husband is gracious.
So where do we go from here?
Colossians 3:12 says,
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."
AND
"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands". Psalm138:8

I love my husband and am very happy with my man but these are my reminders that only God can fill my heart with joy and give me true fulfillment!

Deployment Resources

Image courtesy of   Bold Kreative Photography

Deployment Resources

Armed Forces Crossroads
Site dedicated to providing information and resources to those dealing with a military separation.

Military Homefront
Many resources that can help military members, spouses, and families cope with the challenges during deployment.

Every Man's Battle
NLM (New Life Ministries) has created the Every's Soldiers Battle campaign, which provides military personnel, both home and abroad, with resources that will help those who choose to maintain sexual integrity and sexual purity.

Deployment Dare

If you and your spouse are separated by deployment but want to continue to grow closer, check out this Deployment Love Dare. Don't let Satan deceive you into thinking you can't get close when duty calls you apart!

Deployment Scripture
These are favorite Bible verses of military wives that have gone through deployment. They are categorized into topics of strength, fear, peace, trusting in the Lord, hope, comfort and compassion, and the daily grind.